Actually, I do know what to do but it gives me agita!!! Being a parent never ends. We birth and parent our children until they leave the nest and become parents themselves. Then, unless asked, we should keep our mouths shut when we see behaviors or actions that we might have done differently but sometimes.....
First I must say how fortunate I am to not only have a close emotional and intellectual relationship with my son but physically he lives 3/10 of a mile away. No long distance between us.
I am about to confront my son regarding his children. Grandson #1 stands tall and unintentionally casts a huge shadow upon grandson #2. My son is aware of their differences and is 'usually' tuned in and responsive to the vastly different needs of the boys but he blew it last Thursday and I must tell him. I was witness to an unintended diminishing of #2 because of his Dad. Blew it big time. His wife was not witness but knows what happened and she also knows on this point he's liable to listen to me first and it will be 1 less battle she has to wage.
So always trying NOT to be a meddling mother or mother-in-law I will confront my child - 6'3",age 38, tomorrow and tell him he blew it! Agita!!!!